Monday, May 25, 2009

candlelit sugar

Ok, so I really love the show "Jon & Kate Plus 8". I've always loved how real it seemed. No one toned it down or put on a happy face for the cameras. And those kids are precious. I'm sure everyone knows about the drama with the two of them at the moment. Normally, I don't care about junk like that. Happens every day. But I really thought those two would be ok. I watched the season premiere tonight and it made me so sad.

It broke my heart to see their faces. Because I know those faces. I know exactly what they were feeling. I know what it feels like to look at the person you though you were going to grow old with and wonder who the hell they are. Kate especially kills me. I can't imagine having the whole world think that my life was their business. I've told friends and family that it was none of their business what happened in my marriage (in nicer words, but still). I just look at them and I can see it.

It's a face I wish I knew nothing about. I wish I could look at that face and think, "Wow that must be hard" instead of knowing what it's like to be behind it. I know some people probably think that it's a publicity stunt and so on. It sounds stupid and sappy, but I know better. I see the pain and confusion. I see the effort to put on a happy face even though it's constantly there. I'm so glad that I don't have kids involved. I mean, I wanted kids with him, but in the end I'm glad we don't have kids that have to deal with it too. Because you know they know. I'm also glad I don't have to be in the public eye. I think they are both being calm and gracious in all of this. I would lose my mind. There are probably 3 people that know what really happened in my marriage. At least 3 that I've told. God knows how many he's told.

I don't know what the point to all that was. It just touched me. I wanted to reach through the screen and grab her hand. He's better at hiding it, but then men usually are. Whatever either one of them did or didn't do, it's hard for them both. You can tell they both wonder where it went wrong. That they remember that it used to be so good and wonder where that went. Ugh. Divorce should be illegal.

Anyway, sorry for not showing yesterday. I felt awful. I still feel icky today, but I'm functioning. I think my wisdom tooth is infected though. My whole jaw hurts. It's my own fault because I refuse to have them out. They're pretty much all the way in. I can chew with them. They usually don't bother me, but every now and then one will get infected. It's never hurt this bad before. I'm swishing with hydrogen peroxide and water. My orthodontist used to make me do that when I had braces and my gums would get infected. It's the most disgusting thing in the world, but it works. So hopefully a few days of that will take care of the issue.

I'm really excited because the last few days I've been working on my crosses. I've been wanting to do them forever, but I couldn't find a base I liked. I finally found some and I felt good enough today to get some pictures outside so I could get them posted! Go check them out in my shop :)

I found the cutest little Spoonful tonight. I love the simplicity of it and I'm a wrought iron freak. It's so rustic and elegant at the same time. Adore it! It's a wrought iron candle chandelier. It hangs from the wall instead of the ceiling too. I'm picturing one on each side of my dining room table...

It comes from Bacon Square Farm. I would love to do my whole house around a piece like this!

Candles always make everything feel better. Especially when they're in something this cute and unique! Ya'll have a good night. I'm going to bed early!



  1. I Tivo'd J&K + 8...haven't watched just yet. I feel sorry for them. Marriage is so hard and my husband and I have walked on the edge of work it out and give it up for years. We love each other and that is the only thing that keeps us together. We really don't have much in common anymore...except our love that we can't explain it to anyone or ourselves. It is hard though. Really hard. I feel for you, I don't know your story but I can tell from your blog that you really wanted it to work. Sometimes people give up on each other too soon. Sorry that happened to you...(that HE gave up on YOU from what I gather) ugh

  2. Michelle, My sixteen yr old daughter is addicted to that show and has brought the rest of the family into it's drama. Marriage is tough enough without opening it up to the public ~ you can only hope they really mean it when they say they are doing everything for the sake of those delightful children.
    Hope your day and your gums get better.
    cheers to better days ahead.

  3. I know the face you're talking about. It's not exactly the same, but it's definitely the face of loss. And I feel just as sorry for them as you do.

    I hope you're feeling better.