Wednesday, June 3, 2009

did i miss some brain-sucking aliens or something???

I saw an ad on Facebook for match.com. The little headline was "Want love to find you?" Um, if he looks anything like the guy in the picture, then hell yes! Unfortunately, he was probably some paid model and there's no one nearly that attractive on there. Not that I'm knocking match.com, mind you. I'm sure there are some very good looking folks on there. Not that I want a man. Nope. No way. But I wouldn't kick him out of bed in the morning, if you know what I mean :)

But this prompted me to go to match.com and see what all the fuss is about. You have to make a user name to look, so I was doing all that jazz. It asks you for your birthday and when I was picking the year, it went all the way down to 1919! Holy crap! If there is anyone who was born in 1919 on match.com, I wanna see.

I'll have you all know that match.com is extremely entertaining. The pictures are cracking me up. One guy is reading a cereal box in a grocery store. Awesome. Does anyone know what it means when the box around their picture is red? I found that to be rather alarming. But seriously guys, put your tongue back in your mouth and find a shirt that fits. And don't make your user name "passiontool". For real? And it would probably be best if your mother wasn't in your profile picture. And take off the hat and sunglasses, homeboy. They're gonna figure out what you really look like eventually. Oh and we have "sexman" and "beatthehellouttau". Utterly charming, gents. And they say chivalry is dead. Oh and I really, really, really don't want to date anyone with 'crab' in their screen name.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I totally just saw this guy I knew in high school. Awesome. This is just awesome.

I'm going to start a business making over people's match.com profiles. This is lots of fun. It's like people watching from the comfort of your home. And you can be way meaner and laugh out loud.

Ok, I took a minor break because Mom wanted to go to Sonic for a free root beer float. It was insanity by the way. Never, ever again. I had to get my meds at the pharmacy too. CVS has now replaced my husband as numero uno on my shit list. I'm enrolled in their little auto-refill program. The first few times it worked ok, but for the last 3 months or so I get the little computer voice who calls and says that my prescriptions are ready. Then I get there and they're not. So this happened again today. Got a call this morning, went this afternoon and they act like I'm speaking French. So I told the chick that this was the 3rd time this had happened. She looked at me and was like, "Uh when do you want to come get them?" It took some major self-control, but I just said, "Tonight."

So I go back. This time I go in and not through the drive-thru because it's easier to strangle people from across the counter. It's just awkward trying to do it out the window of your car. Same chick. I tell her my name. She can't find my prescriptions. Effing imagine that. So she's checking the computer and she's all like, "Oh they got filled at a different location." Then she kinda shrugs, like "What can you do?"

Silence.

Now, I'm a pretty patient person - to a point. But this was just ridiculous. So I said, "And that is my problem because?" She looked at me like I was an idiot and she's like, "We can't fill them in two places."

Silence. Rapid blinking.

I told her politely (through gritted teeth) that I had been filling my prescriptions there for 6 months and I don't know why in the world they would have gotten filled at another store, but that was not my fault and that I was not going to drive all over town because they couldn't do their jobs. Then I requested (demanded) that if they weren't going to fill it there, that they should have someone go get my meds from the other place. So she gets her little manager. Little manager said they were going to have to call the other store, tell them to pull them, and refill them at this location. She asked when I would like to get them. I said, "Now." She started the spiel about how it takes such-and-such amount of time and all that junk and suggested I come back tomorrow. I told her I was out of medications that regulated my temper and violent outbursts, and I needed them tonight.

She decided she'd double check the racks. Good plan on her part because, lo-and-behold, there they were. So now I've wasted another 45 minutes of my life in CVS that I will never get back. Someone please tell me that I am not the only person left with any common sense.

Well, I was going to do my Spoonful in this post, but I kind of got off on some tangents and I think that the Spoonful deserves its own (or at least a less crazy raving) post.

Stay tuned.

xoxo

5 comments:

  1. Oh no! I have to say I was cracking up about mid-way through that post, but I totally feel your pain! It's times like those that people really suck.

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  2. I just love you and your blog! You are too funny! Makes me want to join match.com just to be nosy...but my husband probably wouldn't understand that one. But, if I were single, I might just try it out. Imagine being based on compatibility...sounds very interesting.

    Sorry, about your CVS encounter. But I enjoyed reading it.

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  3. OMG!! While I feel your pain, you were totally cracking me up! You have a gift of taking the frustrations of life and making them entertaining! You must be a total "hoot" to hangout with!
    ~Michele from By Your Side

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  4. Holy crap that's scary. These mouth breathers are filling people's prescriptions. Oh, sorry, you don't usually take blood thinners? Gosh they look just like Valium. (Shrug). I wonder how they got through pharmacy school. Paid a geek to take their tests. Probably be easier to get street drugs. Julio always got what u need.

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  5. p.s. I would put this post in your portfolio for when you apply for columnist positions. I laughed so hard I hurt my throat.

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