Friday, June 5, 2009

don't worry - i'm not for real happy

First of all, I GOT THE JOB!! Haha yay! I'm really excited! They like my writing!! Thanks for all your support and encouragement :) It's not like I'm going to be Carrie Bradshaw (yet!), but it pays money. Like real money! I'll be writing for the "Green Wise" department of I'm going to have to learn a lot about going green really quickly. Or perhaps I will write something of a going green for idiots column. Then everyone can laugh at me as I bumble through this new world. Either way, I'm thrilled.

Second, yesterday wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. In fact, I daresay I had a really good day. It's always fun to hang out with Stace and K. They're good for the soul. All the sweet comments and emails didn't hurt either!!

K is chattering away and saying my name lots now. When Stacy won't give her what she wants she tears up and looks and me and whimpers, "Chelle, Chelle, Chelle, Chelle." I'm defenseless. She plays dirty.

This is random, but on the way to the sticks to visit S and K yesterday, I saw a sign that said "Clean dirt wanted" and it had a phone number. Clean dirt? Really? I wanted to take a picture because it just amused me, but it's highly dangerous to so much as blink in Houston traffic. Ah the joys of traveling bumper-to-bumper at 60 mph.

I feel like I've crossed some kind of line in this divorce thing. I'm still not sure how I'll handle it when I actually have to sign the papers, but I have more hope after yesterday. I always knew logically that I'd be ok. I mean, I'm not going to literally die. But I didn't see an end. I'm still not totally ok and it still hurts a lot, but I think I'm floating instead of sinking now. I just realized that I could have been the perfect wife and he still would have found an excuse to divorce me at some point. Better now than after another 5 years and 2 kids. It makes me incredibly sad because things were really good, but what can you do?

Gee, I sound chipper. This is not at all like me. Maybe CVS put a little something extra in the meds to make sure I didn't come back and go postal on them. Don't fret though. I'm still my bitterly sarcastic self. Things are not going to be all rainbows and bunnies from now on. I still wanna drop kick him and people still just generally drive me insane.



  1. Oh yay!! Congrats on the job, that's awesome! It sounds like it really is a brand new start for you. Kind of scary, but it can be really exciting too! Good luck, I'm sure you'll come through with flying colors :)

  2. Wow!! In the words of my older coworker who thinks she is hip: You go girl! Hee hee...I hate that saying.

    So, since this is an online job, do you get to stay at home in your yoga pants while you work? If so, that is awesome! I suggest watching a few episodes of that 'green' show on HGTV with that hot guy Carter Osterhouse (or something like that) maybe that will teach you a thing or two about going green.

    Actually, the reason I started making collages is because I felt so guilty about throwing my magazines away...we do not have a recycle center like most, I just started cutting them up and making stuff with them! It is my small step and I like to say I am saving the planet one piece of art at a time!

    Good luck, let us know when you start so you can have lots of fans!

  3. Congrats (again) on the job and I'm so glad that you're feeling better in general about things. Maybe the job was a magical cure-all sign from somewhere that everything is gonna be a-okay! :)

  4. Congrats! You ARE a good writer. I love reading your blog every day, it has quickly become one of my favorites!

  5. So happy for you!! Things do get easier, you just need to take the time for them to settle in your own mind. Did that make any sense?? Take things, life at your own pace! Congrats on the job, and I second Jenn - you ARE a good writer - I LOVE your blog and your sarcastic, quirky sense of humor! I have to come daily to get my dose!