Second, yesterday wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. In fact, I daresay I had a really good day. It's always fun to hang out with Stace and K. They're good for the soul. All the sweet comments and emails didn't hurt either!!
K is chattering away and saying my name lots now. When Stacy won't give her what she wants she tears up and looks and me and whimpers, "Chelle, Chelle, Chelle, Chelle." I'm defenseless. She plays dirty.
This is random, but on the way to the sticks to visit S and K yesterday, I saw a sign that said "Clean dirt wanted" and it had a phone number. Clean dirt? Really? I wanted to take a picture because it just amused me, but it's highly dangerous to so much as blink in Houston traffic. Ah the joys of traveling bumper-to-bumper at 60 mph.
I feel like I've crossed some kind of line in this divorce thing. I'm still not sure how I'll handle it when I actually have to sign the papers, but I have more hope after yesterday. I always knew logically that I'd be ok. I mean, I'm not going to literally die. But I didn't see an end. I'm still not totally ok and it still hurts a lot, but I think I'm floating instead of sinking now. I just realized that I could have been the perfect wife and he still would have found an excuse to divorce me at some point. Better now than after another 5 years and 2 kids. It makes me incredibly sad because things were really good, but what can you do?
Gee, I sound chipper. This is not at all like me. Maybe CVS put a little something extra in the meds to make sure I didn't come back and go postal on them. Don't fret though. I'm still my bitterly sarcastic self. Things are not going to be all rainbows and bunnies from now on. I still wanna drop kick him and people still just generally drive me insane.