gmail helps in the kitchen!

Well, Gmail continues to amuse me with their ever-so-helpful ads. I make sure to check them out every time I'm in my email now. I emptied my spam folder today and it started offering up yummy sounding spam recipes. Let's take a vote and decide which one sounds the tastiest:

Spam Veggie Pita Pockets - Serves 8 (Oh thank God! We'll have extras!)

Spam Fajitas - Add extra salsa if desired (I'm pretty sure extra salsa would be required to choke it down.)

Vineyard Spam Salad - Combine grapes, spam, pea pods and onions in large bowl (Pea pods? Who uses pea pods as an ingredient?)

French Fry Spam Casserole - Bake 30-40 minutes (You can actually hear your arteries clogging!)

Ginger Spam Salad - Serves 1. Refrigerate overnight (And who said spam wasn't healthy? It's salad, people!)

Skillet Spam Fry - Stir until golden (Spam can get golden?)

Ok, I could do this all night. Every time I refresh the spam page it gives me a new one. This is lots of fun. Pretty soon I'll have enough to make a whole spam recipe book. It will fly off the shelves. I know all my loyal blog followers will buy a copy, right? They also gave me another "Get Happier" ad. I wonder how many of those they have. The website doesn't work though. I tried and it said the link appeared to be broken. If I wasn't suicidal before, I am now. That was the only thing I was holding on for. The only good thing left in my life. Goodbye cruel world!

Sleep tight!

xoxo

bath sweetness with attitude

You know how Blogger sends you an email when you get a comment? Well, I was reading my comment emails from the suicidal Gmail post this morning, and I got a new ad:

Don't Let It Get To You - www.happier.com - Anger is Bad! Happy is Good :-) Learn How To Let Go Of Negativity

Apparently, my comments about my blog about my Gmail diagnosed depression (or GDD as we in the psychology world refer to it) have led to more ads encouraging me to buck up; put on a happy face; be my own best friend! This one is a little more accurate though. Anger would better describe my hang-up. They're getting warmer! Talk about targeted advertising.

I got my cool new mesh shorts in the mail today. Now, I know what you're thinking; "I thought you weren't buying anything." This is true. However, I have classified shorts as a need. If you disagree, come down to Houston and walk my dog in 95 degree heat with 200% humidity in black yoga pants. Then we'll see what your priorities are. 

Anyway, I ordered these cute little mesh shorts from Soffe. I love mesh shorts, but I have a hard time finding girl length ones. I look ghetto in the ones that go down to my knees. I was hesitant to get them because they're called "Mesh Teeny Tiny Shorts", and in the description it said that they "run small". For crying out loud. Michelle does not wear anything that "runs small" with "teeny tiny" in the name. Basically because I'm too old to be walking around looking like a hussy.

I was very torn because they're darling and I can't find normal length ones anywhere. Plus they were only $10. They don't look so bad in the picture by themselves, but in the picture where a girl (hussy) is wearing them, it looks like she has them pulled up to her boobs and twisted and clipped in the back. Lordy. Has anyone else noticed that 12-year-old girls prance around looking like cheap call-girls? Because for real. I would slap my child seven ways to Sunday if she ever dared to wear something like that out of the house. On that note, there's a really hilarious book called "Stop Dressing Your Six-Year-Old Like a Skank" by Celia Rivenbark. Amen sister.

Ok, focus. I debated for awhile, and then went ahead and got a pair, just to see. They came in the mail today and I was pleasantly surprised to find that my business was completely covered when wearing them. You're not gonna catch me looking like a hoochie. So now I must have them in every color.

I'm trying to think of a smooth and/or witty segway into my Spoonful of Sugar. Not that I've ever bothered before, but I wanted to today for some reason. Alas, I'm coming up blank. So I'm just going to go with my usual: sudden, choppy and basically non-existent transition.

Ok, so I know that all my Spoonfuls have been bath stuff lately (as Keirsten so kindly pointed out), but cut me some slack. I feel like crap. All I want to do is soak in something wonderful and I'm out of soaky stuff. I'm operating in crisis mode. I'm doing the best I can.

Today I have another bath bomb. I tried to search for other things, really I did. But my heart wasn't in it. I love it when people use unique or funny names for their items. So this caught my eye, not only because it was a bath bomb, but because the name cracked me up. It comes from Baths Not Bombs. It's called Suck It, Cramps. Freaking awesome. Bath products with attitude. My kind of stuff.

It would be really awesome if she made one called "Suck It, Ex-Husband." I'm not sure exactly what would go into that one, but then I don't know a whole lot about essential oils and the like.

I'm, once again, not getting anything done today. I'm going to attempt to make my own earrings. Aren't I frugal and money conscious?? In reality, I'm bored of watching TV and I really don't feel like grouting. I can make earrings in bed though :) I might do some more serving utensils, but that might require too much of a commitment from me at the moment.

xoxo

apparently i write depressing emails

So I have Gmail. They always pick advertisements for your page based on what words are in your emails and stuff. For example, if I'm writing about tile, it shows me a bunch of ads for grout or tile junk. I don't pay much attention to them usually, but I was checking my email and this one caught my eye (maybe because it was the large banner ad at the top...):

Go Get HAPPIER! www.happier.com/ Go. There. Now. - Do You Really Want to be Miserable For Even One Second Longer?

I shit you not. Word for word.

I laughed until I had tears streaming down my face. I dunno what the hell I'm writing, but apparently Gmail thinks I'm teetering on the edge. That's freaking hysterical. I just thought I'd share the smile :)