Tuesday, September 14, 2010

is this one of those war flashbacks?

The other night around 2:30am, I was sleeping soundly and comfortably in my bed. Alas, this was not going to continue for long. I started hearing, "Hey, B! Wake up! Wake up NOW!" in a loud whisper. I pulled myself out of my slumber and awoke to see my husband standing next to my side of the bed holding his gun.


Me: "What the hell are you doing?"
Him: "There's someone out there!"

At this point, I'm really confused and rather startled. I didn't hear any noises or anything, so I asked him to clarify. He said he had gotten up to use the bathroom and saw lights in the window (our bathroom window looks out onto the street). He said it was a loud truck and it was driving really slow. After he got back in bed, he started hearing noises behind our house. He said it sounded like construction equipment.

*Side note: They're building the rest of our neighborhood behind our house, and they have all kinds of equipment back there and they make a ton of noise all day long.*

He was afraid someone was messing with and/or stealing the equipment. Made sense to me because I know those people wouldn't be working at 2:30am on a Friday. So I got up and followed him into the living room.

Him: "Me and Jers are going to go in the backyard and see if we can see anything."
Me: "You're not taking my dog with you."

He mumbled something about me babying her. I ignored him. He had a gun; she didn't. So out he goes to the backyard. I still haven't heard anything. After a bit he comes back in and says he saw lights behind the fence and it looked like flashlights. I cocked an eyebrow.

Me: "Is this one of those war flashbacks?"
Him: "I hate you."

He went to the front door and told me he was going to go down to the construction road and look. Out he went. I waited a bit, got bored, and went out front. I didn't see him, but I hadn't heard any gunfire so I was pretty sure everything was cool. Then a truck with a huge flatbed trailer pulled out of the construction road. Shortly thereafter, my warrior came back down the street with his gun tucked in his basketball shorts.

He said it looked like they weren't able to get anything. He had me Google the sheriff's office phone number. He called. The guy sounded less than concerned. We went back inside. The dog was snoring on the couch. We went back to bed. The end.

That was our big adventure for the other night. Too bad we didn't bust any bad guys. That would have been cool. And I would have taken all the credit :)

Other than that, it's been the same old story. Last night we went to Buffalo Wild Wings to watch Monday Night Football. It was me and a bunch of guys. I got a margarita and a trivia game pad. After awhile, TJ jacked the game pad from me because he decided I wasn't pushing buttons fast enough. I got out my phone and played Solitaire.

I was then informed by one of the guys that I should be paying attention to the game. The others agreed. I had no clue why they cared. They said I needed to start watching ESPN and learning about all of the teams and stuff. Again, I was baffled. Apparently, they've decided I need to help them pick teams so that they can bet on the games. They told me that "chicks were good at that kind of stuff."

I said that the Bears would always win cause teddy bears were cute. They quit asking me to watch the game.

Well, I have to go take the dog to the gun range. She's gotta learn to shoot so she can accompany TJ on his neighborhood stealth mission next time.



  1. While anticlimactic, I am nevertheless glad there was no exchange of gunfire! Always helps when your Neighborhood Watch has guns. I will play Scrabble with you if you ever need something to do during Monday Night Football. Because I need something to do during Monday Night Football too. Glad to see you back!

  2. HI!! I must have missed your last post - I have been hit or miss lately with my blog...

    Congrats on all the big decision!! I hope Operation Impregnate is a success!

  3. ...you don't think jersey could hold her own????

    laughing thinking about this time last year when r and j were in love and playing. "ummm, scuuse me? ma'am, could I have my stick back?"

    btw i can commiserate-- i've received a black eye from wonky kyle dreams before.... now once he's back from deployment? Well, that's what the guest room is for.