maybe a lobotomy would help

Breathe in. Breathe out. That's what I'm focused on. Thursday is my 4th wedding anniversary. Yay. We made it 4 years.

I kept telling myself that I'd be fine, it's just another day, no biggie. But something about it being Monday and the official start of the week...Well I'm losing my mind. I'm trying so hard not to have panic and anxiety attacks that I'm literally twitching. So pardon me in advance if I do a whole bunch of random, manic sounding blog posts in the next week or so. You can picture me laughing like a crazy person if it makes them easier to sit through.

The Lexapro is failing me when I need it the most. I'm running around like a psycho trying to take my mind off of it. I'll get a lot done this week, I'm sure. I'll also have random breakdowns too. I don't miss the days of random breakdowns. I was so done with them! But I feel like I'm back on that emotional edge. Don't look at me wrong or I'll burst into tears. The more I try to forget, the more I think about it. I'm hoping that the whole "anticipation is worse than the event" thing will hold up in this case. I'm hoping I get to Thursday and forget what day it is. Fat effing chance.

*sigh* I'm spending Thursday with my hero and BFF, Stacy. She won't look at me strange if I start sobbing or laughing hysterically all the sudden.

I don't know if the shopping ban can hold up through this. I just might not be that strong.

xoxo

you are my candy girl

So I was browsing Etsy for my Spoonful tonight, and the front page had wedding themed items on it. Gag me with a spoon. I'm so bitter. I just keep thinking things like, "Don't waste your money" and "He's a lying butthead". There was this thing that said "I'll love you forever" and I actually snorted out loud. Yeah friggin' right. Lies, all of it.

Bitter much? Only when other people are happy. I'm kidding. I am bitter though. I was at Michael's today getting stuff for my new serving trays, and they have this little DIY wedding section. Christ almighty...apparently it was "rub the divorce in Michelle's face" day. There were like 812 (I like that number for some reason) people in the aisle. All chattering and giggling. I had the almost uncontrollable urge to run down the aisle screaming, "DON'T DO IT!" and tip all their carts over. It's been an interesting day. The fact that I'm pretty sure he left for deployment and didn't call first doesn't help matters...Twist the knife, dude; twist the knife.

Anyway, I really didn't get on to write a bitter things-do-not-end-happily-ever-after post. Etsy made me do it with their sappy wedding crap.

I was reading this blog earlier today and the girl was talking about how she was going to do a shop of the week because "she blogs a lot". Holy crap. I do a shop of the day. The addiction is spiraling out of control. AND NOW, sweet Beth has offered me a discount on the sushi set. I want it so bad it makes my teeth hurt. Buying stuff makes me feel better. I know it's unhealthy. I took all the classes in college. Too bad knowing better usually doesn't mean doing better.

I got my tank tops from Aeropostale a few days ago. I ordered one of every color. Actually, two of some colors...FIRST of all, they were like 30% off. SECOND, I wear a tank top, sports bra, and yoga pants everyday. Because I am lazier than sin. So, you see; I needed those tank tops. I couldn't do laundry fast enough to keep up with my tank top habit before! Now I need more sports bras...

You know what I really want to do? I want to make a treasury on Etsy. But seriously...they have a limit. I don't have the patience to sit around and wait for someone else's to expire so I can pounce on the spot like a rabid tiger. Can tigers be rabid? I really think that would be fun though. Too bad they make it so danged hard.

I keep flipping back and forth between here and Etsy. I'm still Spoonful shopping. Could someone please take the wedding crap down? Seriously. And holy mother of God, can anyone afford $250 earrings?? And if you can, will you adopt me?

Well, I've found my Spoonful. It's from Pure Innovation. It's so me. This is pretty much a representation of all the items I own.

I can't believe this is hand painted! I can't imagine being able to do that. There are a lot of other beautiful things in the shop. Another favorite of mine was the Custom Block Letters. Check those out too.

I have to go stain some more things now. I got smart and bought those cheapo sponge brushes so that I can just trash them after I stain. Not more goopy, oily, sticky, nasty stain to try to clean out of my beautiful paintbrushes!