and the sugar comes full circle..

Gosh but Gmail is helpful. I still get the "be happier" ads, but those have since lost their appeal. However, I was checking my email earlier and I have a new one that is not only highly entertaining, it's rather enticing too. For reasons unclear to me, Gmail has picked up on my pyromaniacal tendencies. I have been offered the opportunity to get a degree in "Fire Science". What I want to know is why this wasn't available when I was in college. Forget my Master's...I'm starting fresh with "Fire Science". (Yes, I do realize that this is a degree for firefighters and the like, but pyromania is so much more fun. Besides, I'd learn everything I'd need to be an accomplished arsonist anyway.)

My blog has probably just been flagged by Homeland Security for writing that. I imagine next time I go to the airport I'll have quite an experience. They'll see my ID, think my name sounds familiar, check their watch list, and take me to the back room for a chat. And a cavity search. Golly, something to look forward to.

Speaking of watch lists, I got the phone call from CVS this morning; automated voice saying my scrips were ready. They called at 7:30am. I'm thinking that was totally on purpose. I know the automated voice didn't call anyone else at 7:30am. Anyway, I then got a call later in the day from a real live person to tell me that they had tried to refill some of them and they realized my refills were gone. Which I knew. I have the new scrips, I just haven't taken them in. I was wondering if they'd catch it. I was quite impressed when they did. The whole "we don't know anything about any prescriptions ever in the whole world" act was getting a tid bit tired. Glad they're changing it up. Keeping it fresh. Gotta keep me on my toes. Doing their jobs all the sudden; what a strategy. I certainly didn't see it coming.

Anyway, if you you remember, I talked about some good news that I got. I needed some time to get things figured out and just hold onto it for awhile. But now I'm just happy and excited and I want to tell people. So here it goes...my husband and I are going to work things out! He called me last week to say he missed me and he wanted to do whatever it took to fix our marriage! So I said yes. That's all I ever wanted from the beginning. It was a shitty, sucky, horrible, painful, awful 6 months, but now that everything turned out right in the end, the path I took to get here seems irrelevant. We both had a lot of time to reflect and learn things about ourselves. I know I've learned lessons that I will never, ever forget. I think we'll be a lot better for it. When it comes down to it, if either one of us wanted to be somewhere else, it would have been simple. All the hard things - telling our families and friends, divorce papers, etc. - were already taken care of. We both know what it's like to think you've truly and completely lost each other, and I know that neither of us will take it for granted again.

So, now I'm starting on a new journey. A happy, rebuilding journey. Believe me when I say that there will still be plenty of angry, sarcastic, entertaining posts. That's just who I am :) I told my husband that he might not want to read my blog because it said not nice things about him. He said my next post should be entitled "an apology to my wonderful husband". Ha! As if. I told him not to hold his breath. He called me a hooker and I called him an ass. God it's good to be back. I actually missed him calling me names. I guess I should put that in context since no one knows a whole lot about the good parts of our relationship. That's what we do. It's done with much laughter and love. Disturbing? Maybe. But I wouldn't trade it for the world.

You know what's really disturbing though? Calling him by his name. Cuh-reepy. Unless I'm talking about him, I never use his name. I call him B. His name doesn't have a 'b' anywhere in it, and it's a long story as to how we got to that point so I won't bore you. But I just never use his name. He doesn't use mine either. Even when he's talking about me to someone he usually calls me Chelly. One of the things he did to really get under my skin during the dark times (that's what we decided to call the past 6 months or so) was to call me Michelle. It was the worst. My name was a punishment.

I'm not sure what the point of all that was. Maybe cause I'm stupid giddy happy. I realize that that could be quite a scary thing for all of you. I think I had a point though...

I just took a shower and I'm all shiny clean and ready to do my Spoonful now. My word for tonight is "circle". I'm at a point in my life where I feel like things have kind of come full circle, and I guess it symbolizes a new start. Whatever the reason, that was the word that stuck in my head. So circle it is.

You know the drill...Matchbook Notepads from The Card Stall, Abstract Fancy Tree from Else Studio, Recycled Wool Pillow from Bonjour Teaspoon, and Antique Silver Circle Drop Earrings from Simply Betty.

How adorable are those notepads??? I am obsessed with notepads, especially sticky notes. But notepads in general. I'm forever needing something to write on and I never have anything in my purse. Which is shocking because of all the other crap I have in there. I usually end up writing things on the back of receipts and losing both my receipt and my note. Ugh. Paper gets all bendy and ripped in the bottom of my purse, so I stopped carrying it. But not these neato things. They have a little matchbook case to protect your precious paper.

I know what you're thinking...more trees. I can't help it! Trees apparently speak to me or something. I just looooove the colors in this one though! How darling would it be in a little girl's room? It's a happy tree. Like the "Giving Tree", but that story always kind of made me really sad. That little kid was a jerk. But I digress...

Gray is one of my favorite colors (what does that say about me, K?) and green is right up there too. I love the simplicity of the pillow. It would add the perfect touch to a room that already has a lot going on or it would draw the eye in a room that doesn't have much going on. A win-win, really.

And earrings. We all know how I feel about earrings. I am a little hurt that my polite request for all Etsy sellers to cease and desist earring selling until I got my obsession under control was ignored...But I have this thing for the earrings with the chains dangling like that. They're gorgeous and sexy! And these are certainly no exception. They caught my eye right away.

Anyway, I need to catch a little nap. Husband calls really early in the morning. Stupid time difference. He tells me not to wait up, but seriously. I missed 6 months of this shit. No way I'm taking my Ambien and then being all coked up and loopy when he calls.

Have a good night all!

xoxo

p.s. I think I'm going to get a BlackBerry in the next few days...if I do I'll totally have Internet access when I go to Kansas. Depending on how you feel about me, that could be good or bad :) Anyway, how much fun would that be??? I've always coveted those stupid BlackBerry's. Now I get a pink one! It's nice to have cash flow again!

sugar falls

Well. I'm in College Station. Where everyone is sick as hell. My sister and her boyfriend both sound like they're dying and I'm going down with them. Damn sick people. So now we have a chorus of hacking, coughing, sneezing, and nose blowing. It's way attractive. So far I'm not as bad as they are. Just a sore throat, runny nose, and coughing. I don't feel sick sick yet though. I'm taking Tylenol Severe Cold like my life depends on it. Which it kind of does, I think.

So much for trouble...oh well. Trouble has a way of finding me. I doubt it'll be too long before the opportunity presents itself again.

You know what is so stupid? Paper towel commercials. There's always this kid making a massive mess. Like throwing a cereal bowl or kicking a plate of spaghetti. Then it splatters everywhere into the biggest mess on the planet. A mess that would inspire yelling and stomping from me. But nooooooo, this mom just grabs one sheet of Bounty and smiles and laughs and hugs the little demon child. This does not happen in real life. "Oh sweetie, it's ok that you smeared hot wing sauce all over my white walls because we have Bounty!" Yeah friggin right. Random, I know. I just think of that every time a paper towel commercial comes on.

Today's Spoonful keyword was "autumn". Call me crazy, but I'm a tid bit tired of triple digit temperatures and scorching heat and suffocating humidity. I long for just a cool breeze. *sigh* I can't wait for fall and all the pretty leaves and fun holidays. When people can go out and get the mail and not need a shower afterwards. Only in my dreams at present. Ugh.

Anyway, so here are my autumn things that make me almost feel a few degrees cooler!

Here's the roll call: Autumn Sterling Silver Ring from Firefall Studios, Eternity Brass Antique Leaf Necklace from Rhonda's Treasures, Rococo Shawl from Tickled Pink Knits, and Autumn Landscape Metal Artwork from Copper Leaf Studios.

I adore the ring and necklace. I have this thing with leaves. It's just lately. I've never been a leaf person before. But I love how the ring spirals around and how elegant the pearl makes the necklace look.

My most favorite from this particular collection is the shawl. Oh. My. GOSH! I don't know if I could pull it off, but how stinking cute is that? I love, love, love the color and how it drapes on the edges. The pin is beautiful too. I just fell in love as soon as I saw it.

The last one is actually metal art. It's a maroon background with a gold metal overlay. I love how there's a picture in the cutout, as well as an etching on the metal.

I gotta refuel on the Tylenol. Rapid Release is the way to go in the Tylenol world. Just FYI. I hope everyone is having a significantly colder day than me!

xoxo

sugar coated soul

Hey all. Sorry about yesterday; fantastic day, horrible night. It's going to be over soon. At least that's what I keep telling myself. *sigh*

Anyway, I had a great day with Kait and Stacy. We shopped and played in fountains and ate out. It was a total blast. I took lot's of good pics, so I'll post them later. I gotta go to bed tonight. My soul is tired.

I found the most fantastic painting for my Spoonful tonight. I was half-heartedly searching for one (you  know it's bad when shopping fails to excite me...), and I saw this picture and I was just struck by the vibrancy. It's incredibly gorgeous.

It comes from Terrace Gallery. It's called Kindred Souls. And it's unbelievable.

Isn't it striking? I love the colors and the way they're blended. There's so much going on, but it doesn't look frantic or chaotic at all. I actually find it really peaceful. I'm not usually a big art person, but I want this on my wall. Along with some of her other stuff. I really like the "Some Like It Hot" painting too. I love the style and technique. Love at first sight.

I'm going to go take my wonderful sleeping pill and dream abstract, colorful dreams :) I'll try to be a little more chatty next time. I know how much everyone looks forward to my ramblings, haha. Have a good night!

xoxo

sugary goodness

Today was a shopping day! I loooooove shopping days! I got bunches of tile, trays, crosses, stuff to make my earring holders, and clothes :) Buying things makes me happy. I bought some earrings on Etsy too. I'm going to have to make myself an earring holder. A big one...

I was kind of lazy before shopping. I read a book. On my KINDLE! Sorry. Love the Kindle. I haven't read a whole lot this week since my family was here and I was working and junk. So I indulged today. It was fantastic. I read for almost 4 hours. Bliss. I'll never understand people who don't like to read. I know it sounds cheesy, but you can go anywhere, do anything, and be anyone! I dunno. I guess people who don't like reading will never understand me.

Today's Spoonful comes from Letha Colleen. It's a really cool collage. I can't imagine the time and care it would take to make something like this...

There is some really cool other stuff on there. It blows my mind. Check it out! Have a good night everyone!

xoxo

sugar fix

Today I need a lot more than sugar...but I'm nothing if not true to my word, so I will post my Spoonful of Sugar despite the crushing need to hide forever. It makes me pretty happy to find cute things, so I guess I get something out of it too.

I happened to find this next item on the recently listed screen of Etsy. When you feel like crap, it helps to watch them just flash across your screen. So much prettiness. It's like getting distracted by something shiny. Then, I have this game I play where I see how fast I can click on something and add it to my cart. Bonus points if I've paid in under a minute...Just a little mental health tip from me to you.

So here the cutest thing I've ever seen besides my puppy:

It comes from Renee's Funky Country. She's got all kinds of adorable hand painted art and signs (lots that you can customize!). The crosses are stunning, so be sure to check those out as well. You can visit her shop here: http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5509648

Her stuff makes me want to pinch some one's cheeks. The face cheeks, folks. I'm not quite that desperate yet.

maybe you're gonna be the one that saves me

I've been asked a few times why I started my shop and why I create the pieces I do. I've always felt uncomfortable answering that question. I think I feel like it should be some big creative genius love story. I think I should be someone who’s always had art in my soul. Unfortunately, it wasn't like that. It was actually born out of incredible pain, anger, and maybe a little bit of desperation. I'll start at the beginning...

I was never good at art. Not just not good, but bad; really bad. I think I failed art in kindergarten. All I remember is having to sit on the naughty carpet square because I finger painted another kid. I was hopeless at art from then on, and I really had no desire to experience it. I blame the naughty carpet square. To this very day stick people are a challenge for me. Heck, even my handwriting sucks.

Then one day that all changed. Don't get me wrong, I certainly didn't get any better at finger painting, but I changed. I changed because my husband asked me for a divorce. I was blindsided. I didn't see it coming. I lost my partner and best friend all in one fell swoop; in the space of mere seconds. I'm not going to spend a lot of time on this. This isn't about poor me, but it's relevant to the story seeing as how it was the catalyst for all this. But suffice it to say that I have never felt pain of this magnitude. I didn't want a divorce. I still don't. But you can't control other people, so you do the best you can with what you have.

It was so much easier to avoid it all. I was holed up, hiding out. I was doing what any woman would do - lying in bed and watching TV all day. My channel of choice was HGTV. That was rather strange in itself because I've never much had the patience for HGTV. Most of the time, I get bored and fast forward (DVR is the best invention ever!) to the end so I can just see the before and after. The worst is when they paint a room bright orange with neon green shelving units or something. I die a little inside every time that happens. I don't have anything against green or orange, but there's a time and a place...

As it tends to do, reality caught up with me and I had to start *gasp* coping. As I began my journey, I realized that I was completely empty and lost. I gave so much of myself to my marriage, to my husband, that I didn't have anything left for me. I didn’t have a definition of myself anymore. For those of you who haven't experienced that, it's terrifying. I just kept thinking, "What am I going to do now?".

So what does HGTV have to do with anything? I began noticing how intent and interested I became when they used glass tiles. They were beautiful. So many colors, shapes, sizes, and textures. I was transfixed. How can you look at those suckers and not feel happiness down to your soul? Mostly they were putting them in kitchen back splashes or bathrooms, but I don't own a house. So tiling is out for me. So I sucked up as much as I could on TV.

I wanted those tiles so badly. I had this strange urge to touch them; to feel the cool smoothness. I wanted to hold them up every which way and watch the light play through them. I wanted to feel the weight of them in my hand. That may sound odd to some people. To be honest, it would have sounded really odd to me a few months ago. Now I realize it was just something shifting inside of me.

One day I was telling one of my friends about my tile fixation and the resulting dilemma. She just looked at me and said, "Why don't you find something else to stick 'em on?" God love her. What she lacks in eloquence she makes up for in truth. So I did what she said. I started to think about just how many ways I could use them. The possibilities are truly endless.

Of course, my dream would be to make a career out of this and support myself. I don't have any false illusions on that front though. If it happens, it happens. If not, well, I guess that's why I went to college. But at the worst time in my life, I've had the chance to do something important to me. I’ve been able to create; to put a little of myself into every piece and share it with someone else. I know it sounds way sappy, but I kind of feel like I can breathe a little deeper with every tile I lay.

I don't know any fancy art words. I can't tell you the difference between the Impressionists and the Expressionists. I can’t hold up the fraying end of a deep, artistic discussion. In the educational sense, I haven't a clue what I'm doing. I just love creating my pieces. I enjoy the entire process, from picking out the elements to sealing the grout. I make huge messes. I'm forever finding grout on my elbows and ears. Sometimes I want to take one of my pieces outside and use it to shoot skeet because I'm so frustrated. I'm the farthest thing from a professional artist, but now I think I know how it feels to have art in your soul.